THOUGHTS: MONTH #145
"regularly recording my thoughts yet almost always never finding really peace to properly meditate through my thoughts with always the kids talking or wining and at times having to walk over a kilometer with a thought in my head waiting for the right moment to record it yet being now quite clear about my role as a social outsider attempting to keep human and intimate with nature"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #146
"still recording quite regularly my thoughts despite now also spending many days cutting metal and preparing the textures for my museum without going so much for walks but when going for walks at times just once again feeling a bit too distracted by the kids requiring almost constant attention but nonetheless getting quite some epiphanies about several issues and mostly trying to understand the human tendency to blindly embrace ideologies"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #147
"recording now less thoughts taking less walks with quite some work to be done welding the textures in the backyard yet still be quite regular in recording my thoughts while walking to the supermarket but again unable to fully concentrate feeling perhaps that neighbours might listen to me or having my small kids along"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #148
"a period with quite a lot of thoughts in my head especially after building a shed to reduce the noise from my metal cutting machine upsetting a dutch neighbour and still really not able to fully think through my thoughts with both my kids being quite demanding during our walks together and often feeling i could be heard by a passerby"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #149
"still having to take care of both my kids and walking with them on the stroller trying to record my thoughts constantly interrupted by one or the other but nonetheless managing to record and also getting thoughts while with them indoor and trying to make a point to think about them after going out"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #150
"recording thoughts not really able to think thoroughly with also many people on the street due to the pandemic restriction keeping them home from work and also having more time to think with livia resuming her school two mornings every week and going with silvester to walk despite the cold weather and the snow making him crying and in turn giving me a hard time to elaborate my thoughts"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #151
"finally able to get some good thoughts out with some time to think about them and feeling very prolific in my head often having thoughts after my walks while at home and trying to remember to record them later walking mostly alone with silvester with livia at school and with livia while silvester takes his afternoon nap and enjoying with the kids the snow while also making my reflections feeling that i have reached somehow a level of wisdom despite being completely isolated and with no audience but perhaps the future visitors of my museum in the alps"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #152
"still recording thoughts with my kids at times not allowing me to concentrate and myself walking and often talking to them rather than concentrating on my thoughts but at times getting good insights popping to my head and also having some time alone or just with my youngest and being able to see clearly through certain kind of topics without any shortcoming"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #153
"still quite consistent in recording my thoughts yet never really with the right conditions to do so either with my children singing or talking on the background or with the wind blowing or anyway feeling i could be heard and realizing that the way i tell my thoughts at times are really so as not potential passerby cannot understand me but nonetheless having some good insights and feeling generally quite inspired"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #154
"having some time to record my thoughts with livia at school and taking walks only with little silvester and often having good thoughts but having to wait to record them for the small moments of peace the kids allow me but generally also being able to have quite some time to review my thinking and perhaps coming up with some original thoughts"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #155
"at first feeling quite charged about speaking out having been left once again without any money after paying off a custom broker to deliver me the metal i needed for the building of my museum but later having less opportunities to go out and record my thoughts with the weather getting quite bad and the wind not really allowing me to speak and at last getting to much in welding the metal textures of the museum and feeling a bit burnt and unable to think as fresh as before also with a rather intoxicated throat despite all the attempts to protect me from the welding fumes"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #156
"mostly recording my thoughts taking walks with livia and silvester and at times only with the former when the latter is at school and at times feeling too distracted by some important decisions i have to take for the building of the project museum but also managing to take a walk alone by the river able at last to formulate my thoughts without being interrupted or without feeling i am being hear by someone in a more urban setting also making a few recordings walking along the sea and again feeling free to speak out"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #157
"still getting good insights but having troubles speaking them out with always the kids interrupting me for one reason or another but during some longer walks into nature a bit disturbed by the wind but sometime with some pleasant weather and reaching the open fields having really no worries to be heard and managing to speak out and give some good insights with a times my throat quite sore due to also the intense welding i have been undertaking to finish the textures of the project museum"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #158
"still recording when walking with the kids now focusing mostly on them with little silvester able to talk and only occasionally getting strong insights managing to record them but also taking a very long walk alone from amsterdam stadium to the city center where i joined the protest against the bombing of gaza and finding the city empty due to the pandemic lock-down and recording several thoughts also in relation to my recent arguments with my far-right terrorist father"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #159
"walking very often with the coming of a nicer weather but still at first having the kids with me and feeling unable to formulate my thoughts also later with livia at school and still silvester to push on the stroller till at last managing to talk a long walk alone to the train station and then from delft city center all the way to the landscape park where i thought of building an installation and finding quite a peace to get in tune with my soul as well as with the solar dutch nature around me"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #160
"some recording of thoughts while walking in the rather empty and run down suburbs in rotterdam and the going to italy and here walking far less other than up to the museum at first to inspect it and later to add the textures around it and reflecting in my thoughts about all the fuss set up against me by the hunters and the far right but also seeing the sort of power of creative thinking and later managing to record more thoughts at my mother's seaside place walking with the kids in what is left of the former forest there and reflecting on the increasing level of luxury investing a much decaying italian but also european society"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #161
"recording my thoughts while in the mist of setting up the textures of the project museum in the alps and walking up to the site on foot several times and recording when not followed by august generally feeling quite under threat and isolated and also doing quite some risky and dangerous work but at last managing only to in the end getting into a silly fight with myrthe and because of it being left alone with her leaving with the kids to the netherlands in the end also going there but feeling quite unable to record my thoughts having to constantly entertain the kids especially during our many walks"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #162
"getting some insights walking with my kids back in the netherlands with hundreds of people feeling very angry about the project museum back in italy and writing awful things about on social media having my head rather filed with all this but managing somehow to come up with some thoughts often interrupted by the children even when walking with silvester alone after dropping livia to school in the end having even my own my mother to sue me afraid i might report all her mischief in my project now open to the public"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #163
"walking still regularly out with the kids and getting quite regularly some clear insights in my head still with some troubles recording it with all the attentions the kids themselves require but also going in very isolated forests and being more able to listen to my thoughts at times also getting quite a flow of them"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #164
"walking quite regularly with my kids unable however to record so much of my thoughts just mostly talking to them and explaining them the surrounding nature before going for a week to provence unable to record much thoughts but during a walk in the verdon canyon walking ahead with little silvester asleep on my shoulders"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #165
"starting to work full days unable to walk as much during the days but nonetheless getting quite some thoughts and being quite good at recording them and getting many more thoughts in the weekends at last left alone and recording many walking in a forest with silvester asleep in the stroller"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #166
"using up most of my time to work as a carpenter yet getting still a lot of insights and recording them walking to the car early in the morning or during the short walks i try to take during the breaks reflecting also on my position as a low paid worker producing museum objects of which my bosses make a large profit on"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #167
"still working full time yet still finding quite some inspirations for thinking mostly related to the enslaving conditions that capitalist work leads to and reflecting on how freedom can be achieved only experiencing such conditions"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #168
"having many thoughts mostly reflecting on my condition working full time at a low wage and rebelling to the idea of keeping up with the work only for the profit of few others and for the contribution of a culture establishment i don't believe in at last deciding to be blunt and getting back to my previous life of a socially excluded but very naturally included being"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #169
"being free over the christmas holiday having several occasions to be even alone to record my thoughts and feeling them coming like in a flow especially reflecting now on the awful situations the people i have relied to for the making of my project museum have got me into feeling also rather confused on how to proceed especially now that i opted out of any capitalist scheme trying to quit my low paid job only after a few months"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #170
"giving up my work as a low paid carpenter and reflecting my status back with my nature like my children and my project but away from the project museum in my alps trying also to reflect whether to reconnect to it or not after an avalanche of angry people going against me and generally turning quite convinced about my role of an excluded outsider making meaning of a society on its way to degenerate"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #171
"getting to record my thoughts after having gained back my freedom and my unemployed status setting free with the kids at last traveling across europe to italy and there having time to record my thoughts also in my native highland looking there for a place where to make a new work but always having the kids with me to take care of and even august and still feeling very undecided on how to go about with my work"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #172
"recording while in venice selling my apartment there and walking up and down the city carrying what i managed to get out of the apartment also having the kids along and then back in the netherlands getting stuck inside with the bad weather and with the good weather mostly working on making a garage in the garden not having so much time to take walks and record my thoughts other than when taking livia to school with silvester along"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #173
"recording my thoughts more seldom and not really having the peace of mind to do so either constantly with the children around and mostly engaging with them and having to assist them especially after they got sick and perhaps repeating myself quite much with my thinking getting a bit stagnated at last however finding a bit of a revival in my traveling alone back south"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #174
"at last fully alone documenting my thoughts especially while in the black forest letting my friend florian working and finding the landscape there most suitable for nietzschean like transcendentalist thinking going up and down the hills and being immersed in the nature without all the distraction of the pseudo dutch nature also recording my thoughts but far less while in the much rougher alpine landscape in italy"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #175
"getting quite some good insights but still finding it quite problematic recording my thoughts focusing on the kids and with the semi-crowded environment and semi-natural environment of our dutch village ultimately finding some peace taking some walks alone in the evening by the river after feeling quite exhausted and devastated from days spent with the family home sick really needing my time to think and look into myself"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #176
"getting fully back to my life in the netherlands having to struggle quite a bit to record a thought quite regularly coming to my head mostly qalking with the children letting me really no space to record it or anyway think it through but then going for a long solitary walk in breda and there having really the time to think my thoughts through mostly focusing on the revival i experienced in the very nature i was exploring"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #177
"in the netherlands recording on a few occasions while taking care mostly of silvester with livia at school but also getting to take long walks alone getting fully fluent in my thoughts and experiencing a natural revival particularly walking around the forest in breda on a visit to myrthe's parents"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #178
"with the kids traveling across germany and then in the also managing to record some thoughts at times despite them being do intense also when walking and later also walking alone p and down the project museum to keep on building it reflecting on all the hate i have experienced to make it later going to the seaside in abruzzo trying to walk a bit alone and to record my thoughts especially while on the beach but also doing groer in the half abandoned town where we rented our cheap house"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #179
"recording thoughts while spending the summer in italy mostly finding some time walking alone up to the project museum to work on it but also in abruzzo taking walks on the beach letting myrthe enjoy the sea with the kids and other than that taking many more walks but always in the company of not only my family but also friends coming to visit such as florian and mathijn having not opportunities to record my thoughts also feeling quite congested about sharing the making of the project museum on social media reflecting at times on this topic at last also giving up all that sickening sharing"
THOUGHTS: MONTH #180
"traveling back to the netherlands with the kids having quite some thoughts yet still always in a rush to express them with the kids requiring constant attention als later with little livia starting school again still taking care of silvester and despite taking quite some walks and him being quite quiet always feeling a little blocked by the possibility of people hearing me nonetheless having some good throughts especially after getting more and more into anarchic literature"