EMOTIONS: MONTH #109
"a period feeling bad about not knowing where to hit for my project but then beginning to weld again in my dutch workshop and also feeling at the beginning frustrated with a new metal chopping machine unable to cut the metal but at last managing to get it to work and then going to italy and spending time working at my cathedral feeling happy and very happy to be with davide and then with august working there but always a bit tired and affected by a month of unusual bad mood from myrthe"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #110
"a month feeling strong from all the digging work in the mountains despite all the criticism around me and myrthe getting quite tired in the contrada with livia not really sleeping at night and relaxing now also during a week spent at the seaside despite livia getting sick and a leakage problem in venice involving the neighbour below threatening all sort of legal actions"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #111
"feeling good at last to diplomatically solve the bathroom leakage in the venice apartment ultimately paying a company to renew it and feeling ok to put most of my savings there but then feeling quite sad about august departure from italy and also tired about livia waking up at night and lastly have to fully readjust back in the netherlands with almost no money and finding my strength back in working on my project and also writing with an increasing discipline"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #112
"a hard month emotionally and mostly due to getting the permission for the building of the italian project and especially trying to find some architect or engineer who could believe in me building it alone and other than that feel happy with livia to take care of despite myrthe feeling quite stressed at work"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #113
"feeling happy about my project being approved in italy and feeling happy about my days spent with livia but also see how stuck i am in the netherlands with literally no prospect to do anything and little flexibility to be in italy working on my project"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #114
"feeling good about the possibility to now build my project in italy with an architect following it from there and also feeling good training regularly and having little livia on my side but getting also some days with little energy at times also getting affected by myrthe's mood concerning her work"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #115
"having a little hard in the netherlands with the winter and feeling bored and for some days even sick with diarrhea and a times frustrated with my project in the alps unable to be there but then getting good ideas on how to realize it and feeling happy about it and also happy that the time i can be there is shortening"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #116
"in italy feeling happy at first to be able to work in the mountains but then feeling quite frustrated to be unable to work having to be with the family but finally taking nice walk with them and feeling very happy to be with august feeling only sad to be up in my native village and to see my father relatives and feeling quite happy spending my time alone with livia staying first in gianna's house and later with my parents"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #117
"having a hard time to readopt to my life in the netherlands especially with the bad winter weather and feeling once again as too far from the physical realization of my project but at last seeing the good results i get from working on the actual content and focusing mostly on it and also getting more charged towards the end resuming yoga after many years and also enjoying the company of little livia becoming more and more a kid"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #118
"a month feeling initially a little frustrated but then completely changing my project and getting much into restructuring and making it more challenging and keep up the good energy going to berlin feeling now very happy to be both with august and livia around being much outdoor thanks to sunny days just not feeling so good about the traveling back"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #119
"feeling happy about the idea of the new baby but finding a little hard with the bad weather despite doing a lot of work on my computer and feeling happy to meet my culemborg friend at franco's small concert and very happy to be in sweden among other artists at last"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #120
"feeling quite happy with my life in the netherlands working on my project and taking good care of livia but also feeling a bit frustrated for the lack of physical exercise despite all the walking and still at times feeling very isolated with my project being quite cut out but finding strength in making it"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #121
"in the mountains working hard but feeling upset with my family cutting me out and later feeling rather disturbed about all the issues with the nearby hunter trying to block the construction of the installation but also feeling happy to have my friends particularly davide helping me out and later taking a final break and relaxing feeling happy at last to hear i will have another son"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #122
"a month now spent in the netherlands getting a little weak not able to work anymore on my installation in the mountains but nonetheless getting some strength concentrating myself on the digital content and also feeling satisfied with little livia and all my care to her despite myrthe having to work a lot also in her free time and also able now to manage some small crisis with my tenants in venice and my aunt now being severe to them without regrets"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #123
"generally a happy period with both my kids in sardinia getting a bit bored about having to keep indoor most of the day due to the heat but also going on a nice excursion in the islands and at times finding hard to be all day alone with livia being very demanding but then reaching the mountains making both her and august very happy there"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #124
"a period mostly working in the mountains and slowly getting overworked and with physical pains and also getting quite hit waiting for the building permits and at last also getting a fine for starting to level the ground as i was told but nonetheless enjoying to be around my kids and feeling very sad to depart from august going back to sweden but also feeling very angry about how my mother family kept treating all of us with great dislike and arrogance"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #125
"a month now spent mostly with my family in the mountains missing august and working less at my installation getting quite negatively affected by the hunters revolt against it but soon finding strength and happiness in creating the content of my project alone no matter where and if its cubic container will be built and also finding some good energy setting on the road through germany and in the netherlands missing my physical work but taking very nice walks as well as being very much helped being very productive feeling rather immune from all hunters revolt as well as my mother"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #126
"a period feeling quite sad about the hunters revolt against my project in the alps and waking up in the middle of the night possibly due to it finding some energy back playing with livia and renovating especially silvester's room but also going out biking"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #127
"feeling happy looking after livia being outdoor but then finding it difficult to be in holland with bad weather unable to be so much outside also having to stick constantly next to myrthe awaiting for her to give birth and feeling bad from all the political situation in italy involving the realization of my project watching on-line the public debate affecting deeply my mood but at last finding strength in renovating and preparing for silvester's birth and almost feel myself reborn when it occurred finding also much enthusiasm to think of anyway producing the patterns of my cube installation here in holland"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #128
"feeling sad at the beginning about the hunters rage to block my installation in the alps but then feeling happier back in holland with my family and also meeting up with my russian friend pyotr and his friends and then gaining some energy also with some sunny days exploring a few villages and setting up some experiments to build the textures of my cube here in holland but also having some rough days with livia requiring a lot of attention and being in a terrible mood"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #129
" a lovely period spent in the netherlands with my small kids and withe specially livia growing into a cute little girl only feeling rather frustrated on how to go about with my textures for the tebah and thinking constantly about it until at last getting a cold shower from the architect saying that the schio municipality wants me now to get all sort of expensive expertise for the tebah making myself totally poor yet to some extent also happy to be able to focus exclusively on my kids and the content of my work while up north"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #130
"a period feeling a little low mostly unable to train with the bad dutch winter weather and the kids always to take care of but also after breaking up for good with my mother's family and despite the turmoil finding a good time walking in hamburg during my short stay there and later having august home talking a nice walking the sun with all my kids"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #131
"to begin with feeling very happy to have my son august around but after his departure feeling quite down and locked up with almost no future prospect for my project i am so hard working on and with other friends who have been following my footsteps getting quite successful but then gaining increasing strength also meeting with my russian friend pyotr and with my girlfriend's cousins"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #132
"a period feeling reinvigorated from working hard on my new website with the interface linking to my cube installation in the mountains and feeling good to have reached a concrete results but having to work in the night and lacking some sleep feeling at times quite down but also at last managing well to be home with both livia and silvester finding somewhat of a rhythm together"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #133
"a period feeling rather happy with august around but really unable to do much activities because of the on-going bad weather affecting my mood and at last just working hard on my project making some good days going out for walks with my kids despite the coronavirus outbreak forcing us away from the public"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #134
"an happy period all at home with the coronavirus outbreak restrictions enforced and yet enjoying the surrounding dutch landscape with the spring blossoming as well as our kids and also feeling quite satisfied about my project but also frustrated with making decisions on how to go about its numerical tags"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #135
"feeling happy with the sunny spring spending much time walking outdoor but then also feeling rather hit by the coronavirus enforced lock-down and some bad weather keeping strong with myrthe overworked and little silvester sleeping too little but also finding some strength in my project and talking with friends on the phone to share our lock-down experiences"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #136
"a period feeling happy at times but also moody yet suddenly reading about the reopening of the italian borders and planning to finally go there for the summer with the whole family getting quite exhausted of the many uncertain elements of the trip like borders control with other countries and the internet connection to guarantee myrthe's work"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #137
"a strange period feeling hope to resume the work with my installation in italy but then traveling there and having to readjust with also myrthe at times getting over worked but finding some good state of mind doing physical work until at last getting hit by the far right wing representative wanting once again to obstruct my installation"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #138
"generally feeling quite happy about having international students following my project in the mountains but still getting rather down not knowing if and when i can resume it and also being quite emotional about a fight with neighbour wanting us to remove the wood from next to our house and then solving the issue and not getting so affected about the far right politicians trying to block my project showing very much my face around but getting again quite hit of the fact that one of the students committing to the project is pulling out and also getting in a few arguments with myrthe not happy about me doing work in and around the barn but the reestablishing harmony with the family yet feeling tired with the kids waking up at night"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #139
"feeling quite happy to be able to resume my installation after such a long bureaucratic wait and also feeling happy of having august on my side to help me but later also being sad about his quick departure and feeling sad of the continuous attempts of the far right to block my project getting at last a lot of help by davide finding strength thanks to his great friendship and hard work but also feeling happy with both livia and little silvester in the time spent at home with them getting only sad about having to leave for the netherlands soon"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #140
"returning to the netherlands getting back to my life there as a full time father feeling rather happy despite the bad weather and silvester sleeping too little and yet managing quite well with two small kids now also being able to get them both on the bike but also feeling frustrated at times about myrthe's difficulties with her work affecting the time i could spend developing my project"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #141
EMOTIONS: MONTH #142
"feeling quite bad about the venice apartment situation with an american tenant taking revenge on me but soon getting over it and accepting to be very poor yet finding ways to keep up with the building of the textures of my museum and taking nice walks with my kids at last reactivating the car and exploring new places feeling very up to walk in the forests with them and myrthe on holiday despite all the coronavirus restrictions"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #143
"a month with quite a bit of a bad vibe about the curator students stealing the hard disk with the documentation of the making of my museum but then feeling happy to be with august in sweden although getting quite frustrated about his mother and back in holland enjoying the sun and much outdoor accepting to be without any income but glad to be able to pursue my project and the care of my kids"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #144
"a period feeling very happy with my kids especially taking small excursions with them in other cities like in utrecht and in rotterdam but also at times feeling frustrated about how to go about communicating my work with my head quite full in rethinking my website and beside that also starting to cut the metal to make the textures of my mountain museum and simply work hard without really feeling neither good nor bad"