EMOTIONS: MONTH #037
"traveling to my love myrthe and feeling very happy with her and then also back home with davide my very old good friend coming to see me after years on the road in asia and giving me much inspiration and then traveling again to america but there getting melancholic revisiting the place i used to explore with my kid but then chatting of an on with myrthe and gaining more happiness and even managing to contact august via internet and talking to him as well"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #038
"a quite happy period first in the states and then with my students and myrthe coming over spending a beautiful first weekend together with august here in stockholm and be most happy but then feeling rather down in the following week getting quite oppressed with work and actually very totally stressed but luckily going soon back to meet myrthe in utrecht and there feeling very relaxed"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #039
"feeling great around myrthe and with parents reunited in madrid but then leaving again for sweden and being less happy despite some nice days spent with august and then jacek till finally being left alone for midsummer having also kicked lamin out and being most miserable also being the time away from my myrthe too long and having troubles to communicate with her till at last i made her to her place recovering my good mood even though jason came from an exhibition in paris and i started feeling poisoned about all the political trend in art excluding works like mine"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #040
"a quite unstable period having to reset continuously to different realities feeling rather down probably based on the distance from my kid maybe emotionally accentuated by a lot of love making with my love myrthe but mostly feeling rather depressed by academia having attended a conference in england with too much politics and having to regain my integrity by walking a lot in the beautiful countryside finding back my soul and so also with myrthe having idyllic bike ride in the woods and gaining much happiness and finally again feeling quite down when adjusting with my parents in the italian seaside but then getting happy again with myrthe and august on my side finding nice things to do in a wild beach like fishing crabs and building shelter despite the bad reactions of liselott since i did not manage to provide her a regular update on august due to the scarcity of internet connection"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #041
"feeling not really at my best going to the seaside in italy with my kid and being quiet down in mood from the beginning but then recovering very well also with myrthe and have a nice time all together to then move back to sweden and just getting myself really busy in the peak of the summer and having myrthe home spending some pleasant moments despite the rain catching up with our moods and having to readjust again going to my native village in the alps with august surprisingly negative about all the walks feeling a bit disappointed that i could not give the best of my natural heritage both to him my son and myrthe my girlfriend with whom i might have had expectations to spend more time here in the future but finally also here readjusting quite well after a beautiful day rollerblading all the family in the beautiful valley along the brenta river and experience catharsis in the night of ferragosto dancing with both myrthe and august in a mountain town square before departing again from my love and my mountains"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #042
"a very emotionally stable period spent mostly in sweden and really helped by the late summer sunny weather and by a lot of biking alone but also in the weekend reaching very high feelings of well being particularly during a bike ride with myrthe in belgium and another with august and �smund all of them promoted by the easiness of the late summer with little frustration mostly due to technical difficulties like setting up my own server"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #043
"a quite complicated period having to accept many new things like myrthe's social life and my supervisor imposing me a cannon and restricting my entire research plan which has generated a lot of distress but nonetheless having great days with myrthe again feeling happy about writing at her attic before meeting the supervisor and also after during our trip to berlin but also being most happy trying to be very independent and taking amazing walks in the berlin outskirts which gave a lot of energies till again getting my mood down in the sedentary university environment undecided whether to fight or let go to their impositions but getting at last to start the negotiations and also getting a hard time with august being most rebellious and unwilling to spend time with me"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #044
"a period of initial distress still undecided about my future in academia and also still potentially depressing due to the academic environment and the procedures that comes with it but really finding a good enthusiasm in developing further my work and reaching a higher perfection which however made me also quite much struggle with the interface design of my project but at last getting a bit of distraction and easiness from myrthe who came here and provided me a good emotional stability also with little august with whom i spent a lot of time after he pretended to be sick and in general again finding in the work for my project and a particularly in myrthe a peaceful ground particularly in our short visit to my parents roaming in the nice weather despite the family dentist removing a teeth and my mother getting violent with me and me getting violent with one of her rich friends insulting me at a dinner"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #045
"a bit of a more emotionally unstable month with both the care i put in my project and in my body by going to the gym being really the stabilizers and bringing some energetic days with the otherwise much gray weather both in sweden and the netherlands where i also took august and felt his influence with a day being most friendly and another being quite negative and making also myrhte rather negative too but then having nice weekends together with both him and lastly with myrthe finding quite an harmony together"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #046
"a very emotionally unstable period with the winter darkness setting in and an hopeless feeling not knowing with whom and where my love myrthe goes out and at last being really back in love once again and deciding her to come to live with me making me most happy and also trying then to improve my situation at the university taking bold steps in changing my supervisor for a more competent one and having myrthe coming here too and starting quite low but then getting fully emotional and with a lot of feelings to share"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #047
"emotionally very happy days traveling to italy with my love despite the long journey and the bad weather in the mountains now also feeling reassured about my future in academia and later much enjoying the italian cities despite only the presence of myrthe's mother that got a bit irritating but really getting enthusiast with also jacek after fantastic walks in amazing locations and getting quite down back in sweden but again very happy of the prospect of changing environment but at last being completely squeezed by my old supervisor and forced to go through them in order to improve my situation"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #048
"despite all the distress caused by my supervisor situation at the university attempting to get a new one feeling much love and intimacy with little myrthe on my side doing several small adventures together and then also trying to focus at home on my own art like painting and drawing in order not to think about work and really getting stronger also conducting the research my own way and doing a lot of other art work like editing videos or at last setting forth with learning how to make video-games with august but then feeling rather distressed of traveling to the netherlands and going to a mainstream museum and lastly becoming really happy of our staying in maastricht exploring the nice nature and enjoying my first sun in weeks feeling much love for myrthe"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #049
"a better month now that my university situation got adjusted still having a one period feeling shit coming back to sweden with the gray weather and august at home and no exercise but then making great discoveries with him and adventures in the neighborhood and feeling much better also with the weather getting more sunny and then going to the netherlands and feeling down having to face a bit the art society there but soon getting to feel very good after a bike ride with myrthe in the sun and latter joining a conference at the new university of the arts in stockholm and getting quite a few friends feeling happy also about my new supervisor stina"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #050
"a period feeling rather burnt out but then finding back my focus with sunny days biking and feeling bad again with myrthe now deciding not to come over this fall and then getting much of a winter weather once again till at last feeling very good about biking out with august to the countryside despite a fight with a camping site owner and gaining much happiness to finally be allowed by my new supervisor to move on with my project in a more experimental way"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #051
"still feeling bad about myrthe not coming over but getting gradually better just having a slight melancholy within me and enjoying my time in italy taking walks in the nature but still feeling bad about distant relationships till at last i got settle with it and accepted my lonely life with occasional time to share with august and myrthe and concentrate with my own work which gave me quite some satisfactions feeling rather euphoric about the show-room i am building in my apartment despite also being rejected to the university of the arts where i applied in the moment of deep crisis with academia but now feeling most relieved with my new supervisor and the possibility to switch to ethnography"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #052
"an overall emotionally nice month feeling good about working on my virtual world and then going to the quantified self conference in amsterdam gaining some honors although feeling also a bit stressed and getting angry with myrthe because she booked a trip with hanneke for the summer without telling me but then pacifying back together and only feeling a bit down about the weather but really getting back to feeling good with the nice almost summer weather feeling just melancholic about not being able to see august after he went with his mom to turkey for holidays"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #053
"a quite stable month with some nice emotional states experienced with myrthe here in sweden going to a little island with the sun shining and the field in flower but then later getting not so happy because of the weather turning cold again and regaining some energies biking a long way to the department summer conference and feeling a bit depressed again of the academic stagnation but then undertaking a period of sharing a lot my work with my on-line networks and feeling quite happy about the respond to finally have a nice period with august at his first boy-scout camp only disliking all the long traveling we have to undertake"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #054
"a month full of strong and negative emotions to begin with feeling a bit captivated in myrthe's apartment and also experiencing strong cultural clashes with the many young party people in utrecht with a strong going out drinking culture which makes me feel very hopeless thinking of myrthe in the middle of it but then recovering love and poetry with small bike rides together and time spent also canoeing in a natural reserve to then again feeling quite depressed about the gray summer weather and little response for an exhibition i am preparing"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #055
"a quite stable month mostly spent in italy with august and myrthe finding a rather good equilibrium there and also doing rather healthy beach related activities like playing with them and also going on small excursion during bad weather and finding august a bit indisposed till at last traveling alone with myrthe to ravenna and establishing some intimate privacy there although getting my laptop stolen but not really being affected by it till at last coming home and feeling at first happy in my apartment with all the comfort but then experiencing a hard emotional period alone feeling hard to endure my distant relationship despite trying to be very healthy and disciplined until sweet myrthe came over to put my heart at peace and really enjoying each other company"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #056
"a month feeling rather good alone but having still a bit of trouble with the geographical distance with myrthe and finding from the beginning a good time collaborating with her on my t-shirts and also generally during the opening where i showed them while feeling down about august who has not being willing to meet me but then again becoming strong reading stoic philosophy in particular marco aurelio and being happy hanging out with my new roommate riccardo and his foreign exchange students friends particularly during a walk in nature but getting a bit down again emotionally about the idea of having to endure the distance relationship for several years to come"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #057
"a good month after the rainy summer enjoying the summerish autumn going to italy and opening up with francesco's wedding and some beautiful walks particularly on the hills of vicenza to then don't really liking the traveling by plane but anyway having a fantastic time with august walking by a lake and getting very happy together followed by my trip to the netherlands trying to keep writing and training but getting a bit in a bad mood particularly with the occasional bad weather and at last getting more happy while traveling to belgium with myrthe's father and also thinking about my new land in italy and in fact getting a lot of energy being at the iseo lake exploring it and seeking for a land meeting friendly folk and feeling really good but not of my trip back to sweden with the rain and gray weather awaiting me there but also a very nice august with who i spent a very happy weekend going down to the anthroposophic center and also playing in playgrounds in stockholm"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #058
"a nice month with several exciting things like buying a new car and spending very nice weekends with august exploring the nature and getting the last autumn sun as well as spending a very nice weekend with myrthe in gothenburg despite feeling a bit disturbed by her friend renate and then also keeping feeling very happy about the new land in italy despite having a bit of troubles sleeping because of my bad back and finally really enjoying a car trip with myrthe all the way to the netherlands and feeling very cheerful with her but one bad day feeling shit for sleeping to little and being in the gray weather here alone"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #059
"an okay month despite all the rain and the distance with both august and myrthe gaining some energy coming to italy and talking to people walking a lot around venice but also feeling frustrated about the land looking around and don't really finding anything appealing also sleeping to little but finding moments of strength to keep up my search and getting really filled from the few but warm days of sun here"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #060
"a quite okay month feeling happy about being with myrthe in our new and spacious place in utrecht increasing our life quality and also getting very enthusiast about the preparation of two big shows for next year as well as for my thesis writing and the help i get from my supervisors and mostly almost from the beginning feeling very happy about my new apartment in my native alps although feeling a sad to have to leave such an amazing place and generally feeling quite sick about traveling"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #061
"a month with a lot of readjusting to do having set my big room for rent and feeling a bit distressed to begin with to move to my guest room and later also feeling not so happy in the netherlands over christmas but slowly getting happier moving to my new house in the alps and feeling worry there about it but then having a very nice time with myrthe exploring around and feeling happy with one another later also feeling quite happy with a swedish artist friend over getting a bit scared of the mountain heights and feeling distressed about it overnight"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #062
"a quite depressing month away from the sunny south and working hard both on my thesis but especially on a prototype of my tomb feeling quite down in the netherlands with myrthe working very late and feeling very nervous in my little room in sweden especially with little august but feeling at last happy for him after discovering that his mom found a rich guy"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #063
"feeling very shit from the beginning while in sweden and feeling only a bit relief talking to my roommates and experiencing the first winter sun despite a short flu and then going to dublin for an exhibit and start feeling much happier there only feeling a bit down while with myrthe but then recovering myself during a long walk on the irish cliffs and not feeling the best back in my mountain house in italy to slowly growing more steady and happy about all home improvements i have carried on"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #064
"an overwhelming start of the month with a lot of journalists contacting me while up in the mountains making my heart somewhat close and a bit preoccupying myrthe visiting me but then feeling happy again planning my show-room in the alps although also getting quite dark overworking with a shelf I wanted to put instead of the big bed and then going to the netherlands and feeling good despite getting back pain after running and then at last having a very nice sunny weekend with myrthe walking randomly around"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #065
"a month starting feeling really bad with my mother doing very bad propaganda against me and generally cutting me out but then feel nice to be reunited with myrthe and not so nice about all the parting around her house but finally tuning very well with her and nice conference people to at last going to frankfurt feeling very good amount mounting my installation but not so good about having received little press coverage and at last feeling very happy at the opening with all the other artists"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #066
"a period feeling the disillusion of many of my exhibitions and particularly missing my new artists friends back in the continent getting quite depressed of the swedish weather and being left alone by august now spending his weekend with his new family but then getting happier making plan with myrthe about getting a place together despite our uncertainties"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #067
"a month feeling frustrated to begin with taking up alberto's paranoia after he was left by his girlfriend and then feeling quite frustrated staying in an american family in san francisco and finally feeling better walking the nice hills of rancho san antonio and biking a long way and at last feeling quite stable while working at the exhibit back in the city and getting quite flattered about all the compliments after the opening but getting quite unhappy back in cold and rainy sweden and feeling happy again only with august"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #068
"a period with a lot of frustration in sweden in my son's apartment mitigated at last back in italy getting some positive vibe also hanging out with local artists but at last deciding to fully concentrate on the netherlands giving up my dream to build my temple back in italy and shutting a lot of the communication here feeling otherwise pretty good despite some suffering due to the increasing distance with my son"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #069
"feeling happy with my kid around me and the nice sun although sleeping to little and quite disliking visiting my parents in my too touristy native highland and then being happy about the possibility to maybe acquiring some terrains near the mountain shelter with all the nice festivities there to at last feeling sad having to depart from my kid and drive back to the netherlands feeling confused about where to start building my cathedral"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #070
"a month characterized by a lot of unsettlement not knowing if myrthe will get the loan to buy the new house and also finding it hard to readapt to indoor life after a nice summer in the alps but finding some moments of freedom biking with jason and then with august before finally moving all my things to the netherlands and finding little good prospect there but the good reception of my work at the quantified self conference"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #071
"a month getting my hopes a bit high and low about living in the netherlands nonetheless feeling good about my work there with the quantified self and feeling very good when in berlin meeting my colleagues also having recovered my morning yoga after many years feeling the endorphin contributing to my mood improved also by an important presentation at the hasselblad foundation in gothenburg where i got quite upset with a turkish artist but feeling nice spending time with august playing soccer and walking instead of going to school like in the old days and not feeling so good about going to italy to sign the contract for my land finding a depressing weather"
EMOTIONS: MONTH #072
"a month feeling energized by the work in myrthe's house but then feeling quite depressed with the bad weather setting in and myrthe being often to work till late and also many bad discussions had with my mother and then with jacek about the apartment feeling at last much better being in fact with jacek and august in sweden despite the gray weather"