JOURNAL: MONTH #181
JOURNAL: MONTH #182
JOURNAL: MONTH #183
JOURNAL: MONTH #184
JOURNAL: MONTH #185
JOURNAL: MONTH #186
JOURNAL: MONTH #187
JOURNAL: MONTH #188
JOURNAL: MONTH #189
"a rather monotonous month spent taking care of my children in the netherlands yet with an intense urge to write and take care of my project making use of any moment of free time to do so only getting interrupted during a small holiday we did in the forest cabin of myrthe's brother and also managing to have some good time with the kids both enjoying the snow with them and later the spring giving also some time in the evening to read mostly memoirs like those of dona carolina de jesus and ruben gallego"
JOURNAL: MONTH #190
"a productive period spent in the netherlands still in a lock-down due to the pandemic but taking advantage of the situation to finish with a first full writing of a book about my project and a way to present it on my website but also doing quite some welding awaiting the shipment of new metal pieces from china and also venturing several times by car with the kids outside our dutch village to take walks in nature spending quite some time reading at night both the fascist diary of ciano depicting the absurdity of wars as well as the memoir of louis l'amour both rather mainstream but at least offering a bit of a break from the intense days spent looking after the children"
JOURNAL: MONTH #191
"a period still awaiting for the metal i will need to weld the textures of my museum and beginning to feel a bit overworked doing all the video editing for my website and writing accounts for each file of my project finding some good energy taking the kids out for excursions with the spring bringing forward occasionally some sunny and beautiful days and during the more gray days staying home and also writing an account of my readings and the history podcasts i have been listening to"
JOURNAL: MONTH #192
"journaling about a quite intense period with the spring coming and me taking the kids out for small adventures but then getting more indoor with cold and wet weather and also at last receiving the shipment from china and beginning daily to weld all the textures together doing quite some work also welding over older textures and having not so energy left at the end of the day to keep up with my readings but nonetheless continuing with ciano's diary as well as with an old anthropological book on west africa i found on the street"
JOURNAL: MONTH #193
"a month working intensively on the production of the textures of the project museum also now able to plan our recent trip to italy and feeling quite happy about it having still some energy to take care of the children during the day while welding early in the morning and late in the evening often then having to go straight to bed unable to follow up so much my readings and only occasionally during the day going for excursions if not related to getting material for welding such as spending a whole day biking to get a new gas bottle and towards the end sleeping too little but still finding the energy to keep up"
JOURNAL: MONTH #194
"a period finishing off all the welding of the textures i made for the project museum in the alps and also spending quite some days organizing and later bringing all the textures to a local company of our dutch village to have them shipped there and in this time getting my hopes up to also do some work in the netherlands using my mosaics here rather than putting them up in the alpine village where so many people hates me and beside spending much time with my kids with the weather however not allowing us to go far and only once venturing alone in amsterdam to take part to the protest against the bombing of gaza but there also finding quite some violent behaviour from the side of the palestinians"
JOURNAL: MONTH #195
"a rather uncertain period getting ready to leave for italy to start working on the project museum there but making at last attempt to try to do my work in the netherlands at an art foundation at last opting to keep on focusing on the italian plan despite all the political pressure against me and beside all this last minute decision to take also not sleeping so well and feeling not so energetic but at last finding the right strength to face the long journey to italy and also once there getting help to get the museum textures in a neighbour garage thus proceeding rather smoothly even with the kids to take care of"
JOURNAL: MONTH #196
"a quite intense month spent in the mountains welding together the museum textures in a neighbour's garage before starting to set it up with august and a guy his age organizing the installation quite well having to drive both him and his sister maria up and down the mountains with the latter babysitting livia and silvester yet still having to make it to the contrada to change the kids diapers and putting the little one to bed but making it the most out of the few hours in the morning and the few hours in the afternoon to complete the outside of the museum yet with myrthe back in holland being unable to draw and also being unable to have the time to fully update my project with silvester being very demanding and in this month also having a few accidents like one almost losing my life flipping with my tractor trying to bring the textures to the museum"
JOURNAL: MONTH #197
"journaling on my time spent in the mountains alone with my oldest son and my young kids setting up the project museum textures but at one point taking a break and going to the seaside at my mother getting quite bored there and disgusted about the fanciness of the place and its people at last in the end telling off my mother always very disgusted about our spontaneous way of being and always trafficking with ways of keeping her rich life style at the expense of others and back in the poor but much more genuine mountains writing on the days spent working alone with august finishing to add all the textures of the second floor of the museum with the hunters and politicians now being suspiciously silent"
JOURNAL: MONTH #198
"giving daily accounts of the time i spent in the mountains with the help of august setting up the textures on the top floor of my mountain museum there and also trying to spend some days with the kids and myrthe in the end completing the museum but getting absolutely no one interested and just trying to wrap up smoothing the land around and oiling the metal so as to take a nice holiday with the family"
JOURNAL: MONTH #199
"a month that was supposed to be of holiday and relaxation after all the work installing the project museum textures but getting myrthe to leave with the kids to the netherlands after a fight and accepting to be left alone taking my time to renovate the venice apartment and the barn in the mountains but also to set up all the campaign to promote the project museum at last making it back to a cold and gray netherlands deciding to settle here and keep united with my family leaving the italian project more as a summer occupation"
JOURNAL: MONTH #200
"relocating to the netherlands deciding at last to move my address as well as my hopes here and writing daily accounts of readjusting my life after the intense period setting up the project museum in the alps and trying to always keep up the good vibe talking walks with the kids yet getting a bit sucked up promoting the project museum on social media spending quite much of my free time to do so"
JOURNAL: MONTH #201
"a quite sad month in a way back to my life in holland looking after the kids with people in italy raging about the project museum there and just living my simple life here removing all my expectations after attempting to try to export my work here and getting quite distressed about my mother threats to sue me if i don't censor out all the information i collected about her wrong doings as part of my project but deciding at last to go into a self-censorship once again and trying to focus more on my project and its execution becoming very intimate with my kids and taking advantage of a sunny beginning of the fall to explore the surrounding nature together"
JOURNAL: MONTH #202
"still a sunny beginning of the autumn spending much time outdoor with the kids and enjoying their company but also sleeping way too little in the night and feeling affected by it keeping strong however and working hard also on my project reading also quite much of herzen's memoir in the evening and regularly watching documentaries and also doing a small exhibit in town getting to introduce my project to many people very enthusiast to discover it forgetting in this respect all the negative reception in italy and almost entirely now moving body and soul to holland"
JOURNAL: MONTH #203
"a last month spent with my children before starting to work as a carpenter and enjoying our time together in our dutch village doing many small adventures before setting out to provence with the whole family and there every week going to different destinations taking walks and exploring the beautiful landscape radiant of a most bluie sky before confining us back to the netheralnds with the children starting school and me work in closed environments and even having no time to update in the morning anymore and writing my journal entry as i used to in the evening starting with today and no longer with yesterday"
JOURNAL: MONTH #204
"the starting of a new life now writing about my days mostly spent no longer roaming around with my kids but working for a dutch company building exhibitions for the main museums in the netehrlands and narrating a bit of my life also demolishing these exhibitions and getting into some sort of a fast culture industry nonetheless keeping up my discipline and mostly worrying about my kids trying to spend all my free time with them"
JOURNAL: MONTH #205
"a month of journal entries mostly telling about my hard life working in a carpentry workshop and also mounting and dismantling exhibitions in big dutch museums trying to keep up with my project early morning and in the evening and trying not to be sucked up by the company business always leaving punctual to go home to my children often sick with a most rainy weather and the contact with their classmates trying to make up our time together in the weekends doing small adventures together"
JOURNAL: MONTH #206
"a month spent working and feeling rather mixed about it standing the ground and only wanting to work part time ready to also loose my job and meantime trying to really spend my free time with the kids taking walks and also thinking how to continue with the project museum realizing how hard it would be to do anything in the netherlands"
JOURNAL: MONTH #207
"recovering from all the toxic work as a carpenter building mainstream exhibits for the big museums in the netherlands and stepping down from such work becoming more critical at last getting back at least part time to my previous life with my kids bringing them to nature and making them happy spending also many day renovating the attic at home and thinking of what to do with my project museum whether trying to do it again in the netherlands or try to pursue it back in italy"
JOURNAL: MONTH #208
"a month filled with difficult choices like quitting my low paid job in the netherlands and giving my italian project some hope again but not really knowing how to go about and having some difficult time finding a focus while resuming my life back as a housewife accepting my role as a totally unrecognized and marginal producer even having to face more discrimination from social media users attacking once again my project"
JOURNAL: MONTH #209
"a bit of an agitated month no longer working for the dutch cultural establishment and planing my retreat to my native highland spending my days with little silvester with a bad weather outside and little livia starting school making a few excursions before at last leaving for italy with the kids and traveling across germany and reaching the blue and sunny italy but also getting confronted with much pollution and the grayness of cities before spending some time searching in the mountains for a place where to build the cathedral with the kids in my back and also august"
JOURNAL: MONTH #210
"after all the boring winter period spent working as a low-paid carpenter at last going back to life with my kids on a long journey across europe to the alps and there trying o figure out what to do with the project museum but also enjoying being with my three kids and later with myrthe in venice for the last time before selling the apartment there to young local couple at last making it back to the much more plain life in the netherlands"
JOURNAL: MONTH #211
"a month finding hope in trying to continue my project also in the netherlands with also a sunny period helping me in making space to a whole new laboratory in the backyard where to produce the project museum tags and feeling quite good about it also with the kids beginning to play nicely together and with silvester being quite flexible with me while livia goes to schooland their mother is at work also recovering my reading habit in the evening now reading fred uhlman's novel and getting quite disciplined with my project after the winter months working as a low-paid carpenter and the month spent traveling to sunny italy"
JOURNAL: MONTH #212
"a period spent in the netherlands pretty much investing my money there buying equipment to get my project museum going and traveling with the kids to places to choose for the right machine but also spending much time with them letting them play outside whenever the spring weather allowed it and also outside keeping up with the building of a path using the old bricks we found under the ground floor and beside for it being rather disciplined with my project and finishing to read fred uhlman novles and generally shrinking up our life and concentrating it around our dutch house especially with the ukrainian war hitting the european economy and daily life"
JOURNAL: MONTH #213
"a quite adventurous month setting off for a journey down south spending at first some regenerating days in the black forest with florian and then proceeding to the other side of the alps and there taking care of my property cutting grass and trees and then bringing students to see the project museum before making it all the way back to the netherlands resuming there my life looking after the children"
JOURNAL: MONTH #214
"quite a tough month coming back from the alps and finding a beautiful spring in holland but then getting the whole family sick and having to take care of them as well as beginning the production of the project museum tags keeping rather much at home also finishing to cement the garden path i made using old bricks and in the evening reading a lot of che guevara as well as drawings and writing a lot becoming quite disciplined despite having very little hope to get anywhere with my project but understanding it now more as some sort of a diary and playing out the role of my subtle daily struggles"
JOURNAL: MONTH #215
"a month getting a bit bored and restless of our life in the netherlands really longing for the wilderness of the alps and at last traveling alone with the children across germany getting enchanted with my ancestors land bavaria and spending some beautiful days there before crossing the alps and reaching the a heatwave stroke italy having quite some nice days with the children both in our small mountain village but also exploring the already golden fields down below managing as well to do some work with the help of an half sicilian girl coming to help a few hours every morning"
JOURNAL: MONTH #216
"quite a poetic month spent with the children in the mountains enjoying our time together letting them play in the fountain and getting in touch with the nature there and the hundreds of sheep but also managing to resume the work with the project museum building the first floor and being quite hard working also taking care of the children with cooking and bringing them to bed only getting some help in the morning for a few hours by a girl just out of high school"